Last weekend, the husband and I were invited to a wedding reception of the husband’s long-time friend. I knew the guy briefly too because I used to work where I first met my husband, that friend and a whole group of funny Mats. Now that they are young men and these days when the husband updates me who and who among them is getting married, I would feel like crying, macam anak-mak-dah-besar kind of feeling. Padahal padahal.

ANYWAY, yes, back to this wedding. Well, the last I heard about him was that he turned over a new leaf (alhamdulillah) and since the last time I saw him was many many years ago, of course I felt honoured and a bit excited that he invited us to his wedding reception.

When we arrived, I knew it was a simple affair because there was no music, no DJ and I saw simple decorations. It is by choice and if it could save costs for the whole wedding, why not? But as we walked closer towards the wedding reception, it was something I was not quite prepared for.

The men and ladies were seated separately. There was even a black cloth tied from one pillar to another that posed as a divider.


Now that it is just me and the husband, we had to separate briefly to eat. I found myself seated in between one sister and one makcik who were with their respective families/relatives. Unfortunately, we spent about less than half an hour there and decided to head to our next destination.

Before anybody feels offended by this, first of all, this post is largely based on my personal opinion. And if anybody has anything to comment to disagree with me in any way, kindly do so nicely.

Second of all, I, in fact, love simple weddings. It is something I would want for my own children (in shaa Allah, one day), because it saves costs! Ok, actually, I would take what a wedding reception NEEDS and say NO to things that my children want in their wedding (like a huge bertingkat-tingkat cake. Mak here doesn’t even have a cake for my own wedding reception okay!). But you NEED food. GOOD food and desserts. And that popiah basah stall. Oh yes.

But is separating men from the women really necessary? Really?

It may be the Islamic thing to separate the men from the women to avoid them from potentially sinning, but is it the Islamic thing to make your guests feel uncomfortable?

I feel if you want to make such arrangements in the first place, you could at least inform your guests in advance. Because yes we are Malay-Muslims, but unfortunately as much as we incorporate the ‘Islamic-ness’ into a Malay wedding, our tradition tend to triumph over most parts. It may be like a reunion gathering for some guests. Hence, to sit alone with strangers can be something uncomfortable (not to mention boring) for most of us.

Thank you for reading this rant of mine. And yes, I am aware that by the end of the day (or entry), how one chooses to do wedding is their own choice.


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