During the recent Hari Raya visitings, we visited one of my paternal uncles. We had not met in a long time, but our relationship is one of those who would acknowledge each other if we bump into one another and just pick up where we left. No matter how long ago that was. Hah.
My uncle and his wife, waited ten years before they welcomed a son. (TEN YEARS!!! And I am not going into details! LOL.) During the visit, the whole time was about having kids, and not to stress about it. I seldom talk about it because I feared that that the other party might bring up “So when are you going to have kids?” Itu soalan cepu emas yang boleh mendatangkan volcano eruption (dalam hati).
She shared some tips with me, that made me feel so relieved because there is somebody who exactly knows how I feel and is so open about it. And I would like to do the same, in this post entry. Kinda like passing it on.
1.Seeing a gynae is the very first step you can do to find out if you have any medical conditions that can cause difficulties to get pregnant. If something is detected, at least the doctor can help it get treated. If you are perfectly fine, hey, that is good news! It is also important not to think that we (ladies) are the cause for not having kids. Husbands need to get checked up too ya.
2. Lead a healthy lifestyle. Yes, this can be the hardest thing to do. I feel you. But we can try, can’t we? More plain water, less sweet drinks. Less smoking, more exercising. Less gaming, more reading. Eh eh eh?
3. Dig some tips from the older generation. Some elderly swear by some natural supplements, some would pester to go for massage/acupuncture. Well, as long as they are legit (if you know what I mean, no keramat keramat stuffs ah), and as long as you can afford it, there is no harm trying right?
The second last tip that she shared with me was something I feel is very important for our mental health:
4. Always have an open-mind and open heart to talk about it. Never close up, there is nothing wrong to confide in your closed ones about it. The more we refuse the talk about it, the higher the chance we can get depressed about it one day. But if we are okay to talk about it, people are more open to share with us more tips and people are more supportive towards us.
5. Last but not least, we can regard it as a blessing in disguise. This is the time to do what you have always wanted, furthering your studies, be a temporary workaholic, travelling, food-hopping, or just relaxing with one another – some of the things you will find a luxury after you have kids.
So ladies (and gentlemen), quit worrying about not having kids yet. As a Muslim, I believe that our life has alreaday been planned by God, beginning till end. What happens tomorrow, only He knows. Whether we will have kids, only He knows. When we will die, only He knows. I also believe that whatever happens to us now, even trapped in the worst situation, there is a blessing in disguise. As a Muslim, I was taught that we must accept what has been written for us.
And, you don’t have to be a Muslim to believe all that too.
I am thankful and contented with what I have now, alhamdulillah. And I hope this post can provide at least a bit of emotional support to us who are going through the same thing.
For now, kita enjoy the long holidays dulu!!!!